Shifting from Self-Criticism
Why It Matters
Many of us are our own harshest critics, especially when it comes to food choices and body image. We set high standards for ourselves, and when we don’t meet them, self-criticism kicks in. But, this kind of inner dialogue doesn't just damage our self-esteem, it often leads to a cycle of negative behaviors, like emotional eating or restrictive dieting. However, it’s important to recognize that shifting from self-criticism to self-compassion isn't just about eating better, it’s about feeling better in every way.
The Benefits of Shifting to Self-Compassion
Improved Relationship with Food: When we approach ourselves with compassion, we're less likely to label foods as “good” or “bad”, which reduces the guilt and shame often associated with eating. This shift allows us to enjoy food without fear, making it easier to make choices that truly nourish our bodies.
Enhanced Emotional Well-Being: Self-compassion helps us build a more positive mindset, reducing feelings of stress and anxiety. By being kinder to ourselves, we can manage setbacks with greater ease and resilience.
Sustainable Habits: When we move away from harsh self-criticism, we're more likely to stick with supportive habits because we're not punishing ourselves into change. Instead, we're creating a lifestyle that feels good and is sustainable in the long run.
How to Make the Shift
Practice Self-Observation:
Start Small: The next time you catch yourself in a moment of self-criticism, pause. You don’t need to change anything right away. Simply observe your thoughts. Imagine you're an outsider looking in, what's going on in your mind? This small act of observing without judgment can create enough distance to help you see things more clearly.
Set a Reminder: Place a tiny sticky note or a reminder on your phone that says something like, "Pause and observe". This will help you catch yourself in those moments and allow you to create the new habit of self-awareness.
Reframe Your Inner Dialogue:
Use Gentle Language: When you notice self-critical thoughts coming in, try speaking to yourself the same way you would talk to a friend. For example, if you think, "I shouldn’t have eaten that", reframe it to, "It's okay, I'm learning what my body needs and now I know what I want to do differently for next time". This helps you shift the tone from critical to understanding.
Create a Mantra: Develop a short, supportive mantra you can repeat when self-criticism arises. Something like, "I am doing my best" or "I am learning and growing". We want it to be easy enough for you to repeat any time you need a quick reset.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection:
Celebrate Small Wins: At the end of each day, take a moment to acknowledge something you did well, no matter how small the win is! Did you take a mindful breath before eating? Did you choose a nourishing snack? Did you ground yourself when you noticed yourself eating distracted? These tiny accomplishments add up and help reinforce a positive mindset, as well as build resiliency.
Set Achievable Goals: Rather than aiming for a complete overhaul of your habits, which is exhausting and feeds an all-or-nothing mindset, focus on small, manageable changes. For instance, if you're working on mindful eating, start with one meal a day where you practice slowing down and savoring each bite.
Journaling for Reflection:
Keep It Simple: You don't need to write pages of reflection. Start with a simple prompt like, "What did I do today that made me feel good?" or "What was a challenging moment, and how can I be kind to myself about it?". Whatever you jot down, remember there is no right or wrong to this practice.
Use a Timer: If journaling feels overwhelming, set a timer for 3-5 minutes. Just write whatever comes to mind in that time, you don’t have to follow a prompt in order to benefit from this. We want to do whatever we can to make this practice feel approachable, not like another task to complete.
Develop a Self-Compassion Ritual:
Morning Affirmations: Start your day with a positive affirmation to supercharge your mood and mindset. Something like, "I am enough" or "I am deserving of kindness". This sets the tone for your actions throughout the day and can help counteract self-critical thoughts as they arise.
Breathing Exercises: Before meals, take a few deep breaths to center yourself. Inhale through the nose for four counts, hold for four, and exhale through the mouth for four. This simple practice not only calms your mind, it helps you approach your meal with a sense of presence, intention, and compassion.
Each time you choose compassion over criticism, you're reinforcing a habit that will serve you for a lifetime.
Additional Tips to Support You:
Practice Mindful Eating: Slow down and savor your meals. When you're present with your food, it's easier to make choices that align with your needs, and it becomes less about perfection and more about nourishment and enjoyment.
Surround Yourself with Positivity: Engage with people, resources, and environments that uplift and support you. Positive influences can help reinforce a compassionate mindset and provide a buffer against self-criticism.
Shifting from self-criticism to self-compassion is a journey. It takes time, patience, and a willingness to be kind to yourself. But with each step, you'll find that this new mindset opens up a world of possibilities for a more balanced and supportive relationship with food, and with yourself.
If you need support while building this awareness, send Kiley an email at info.khhllc@gmail.com
