The “Clean Plate Club”
Breaking Free from the "Clean Plate Club": Embracing Fullness Over Scarcity
Have you ever found yourself staring down at a plate of food, feeling so full to where you absolutely can't take another bite, but hear this nagging voice in your head saying, "You have to finish it."?
Many of us grew up in the "Clean Plate Club", where we were often told that we had to finish every ounce of food to get dessert or simply to be excused from the table. We were told the sob stories of the children in other countries who were starving, almost as a way to manipulate us into eating past our comfortable level of fullness and pushing us to resent food and/or the eating experience.
While these messages were usually well-intentioned, aiming to teach us not to waste food or ensuring our caregivers fed us a “proper meal”, they can grow into negative learned behaviors dictating the way we think, feel, and act around food. And for most of us, these messages will lead to the development of a scarcity mindset about food that isn't serving us well as adults.
Today, we hear the younger generations talk about how they are ending the generational trauma within their families, as mental health is beginning to be more appropriated in our society. And while there is still much work to be done, part of the growth we are looking for rests in challenging this scarcity mindset and learning to listen to our bodies, instead.
The Roots of the "Clean Plate" Mentality
From a young age, we were taught to view food as something we should completely consume, regardless of our hunger cues. This often stems from cultural, economic, or familial beliefs that food should never be wasted because there are others who are less fortunate. And while being mindful of wastefulness is important, adhering strictly to this rule can disconnect us from our body’s natural signals of hunger and fullness. As babies, we would cry when we were hungry and push away the bottle when we were full, knowing in our gut what it felt like to recognize what our bodies needed.
Recognizing These Scarcity Mindset Traps
A scarcity mindset around food can manifest in various ways. For some, it can be a perception around food that heavily impacts our relationship with said food and our eating behaviors, stemming from the belief that certain foods are limited to us or should be restricted from us. For others, this mindset might make us feel guilty for leaving food on our plates or compel us to eat past the point of comfort to avoid wastage. Sometimes, it even makes us eat more than we want, just because it’s there. Both of which will often lead us into a toxic cycle that's hard to break. That’s why recognizing these patterns is the first step towards reclaiming our food autonomy, allowing us to break away from the food obsession and past narratives that are no longer serving us.
Embracing an Abundance Mindset
Switching to an abundance mindset means understanding that food is plentiful and that it's okay to stop eating when you feel comfortable, even if that means leaving some behind. It’s about understanding that you don’t “owe” anyone and that you don’t “have” to finish your plate to show your respect. It’s about accepting that eating past your comfort level, consuming more than you want or need, or force feeding yourself to appeal to others is still wasteful. It’s about recognizing that even if you wanted to, you wouldn’t be able to get this plate of food to someone else in a third world country, who may actually want it. It's about knowing that your worth isn't tied to how much you eat or don't eat and that you have the power to choose to eat in a way that feels good and fulfilling to you. It’s about letting go of this people-pleasing behavior and turning back into what would be best for you and your body.
Practical Tips to Overcome the "Clean Plate" Syndrome
Practicing Mindful Eating: By tuning into our hunger and fullness cues and eating slowly and without distractions, you begin allowing yourself to stop eating when you feel comfortably full, not just when your plate is empty. This will also help you understand the difference between emotional and physical hunger, discovering how to enjoy every bite.
Challenging Food Rules & Narratives: When we can identify and challenge our old food rules and narratives, often given to us by family, friends, and our society, we can learn how to reintroduce the foods we once loved or separate ourselves from perceived expectations around our eating habits. By gradually introducing feared or restricted foods into our nutritional plans or new narratives into our belief systems, we can create a safe and supportive environment that, in turn, reduces the “rules” and “narratives” power.
Serve Smaller Portions: If you're concerned about wasting food, start by serving yourself smaller amounts or cutting your food in half and asking for a to-go box when they bring out your meal in a restaurant. This helps you understand that you can always get more if you're still hungry and can share your leftovers with someone you feel is in need on your walk or drive home.
Share & Save: Instead of forcing yourself to finish your meal, ask if someone at the table would like to try your food. Sharing can help you let go of your scarcity mindset and even save you a buck, if you decide to split a meal when out to lunch with a friend. And if you don’t finish it all, save the rest for later, as many foods can be properly reheated in the microwave, oven, or airfryer. Leftovers can make quick, easy meals for busy days!
Embracing Flexibility: Learn how to be flexible with your eating habits by allowing yourself to branch out into different cravings. Flexibility can reduce the pressure around eating “perfectly” or “properly”, making it easier to maintain a balanced relationship with food and a loving relationship with ourselves.
Reframe Food Waste: If food isn’t making you feel good or if you ate enough, it’s okay to let it go. You aren’t a “bad” person and you are allowed to eat more or something different later. Forcing yourself to eat out of guilt and pushing your body past its comfortable level of fullness is not beneficial to your body or your mind, and it is not going to help anyone else who is hungry.
Accepting It's Okay to Let Go
Letting go of the need to finish your plate can be liberating. It's okay to throw food away if you don't want it or if it’s not serving you. This doesn’t make you wasteful; it makes you attuned to your needs and respectful of your body’s signals. And by practicing this, you can gradually build a more joyful relationship with food and a more positive relationship with yourself, leading you to establish sustainable eating habits.
Remember, shifting from a scarcity to an abundance mindset isn't just about food, it's about changing how we view our choices and our autonomy. Each small step you take is a part of a larger journey towards a life where food is a source of nourishment and joy, not anxiety or obligation.
Want to learn more about how a scarcity mindset plays a role in “trigger” foods or placing certain foods on a “do not” eat list? Check it out here
